Hi OTT. Im 32 years old. Been playing with sound on and off for 10 years. Some terrible shit happened so I quit it and came back to it 3 years ago. I work 5 days a week in low wage job. Im going back to college to try and get a decent wage by the time im 40. Problem is that I cant stop thinking about making music and I only really get a day or 2 a week..and sometimes not. Im depressed every day. All i think about is music. I have a teacher for theory and stuff. What im trying to say is that its the only thing that makes me happy. I might stop working so much and live on the absolute minimum but Im a afraid of the future. Afraid of being a broke loser. What do you think? I feel like I should give 100% to this. Its like...a broken dream or something. It hurts. Imagine you could only write tunes 1 day a week? Dunno. Its a first world problem I suppose. But its like a dull ache in my chest. Everyday. I should be doing music stuff...Anyway I love your latest album. I hope you live long.

Ott responded on 03/08/2016

I was in EXACTLY that position when I was 32. My career as a studio engineer had fallen apart as a result of a back injury I sustained, and at 32 I was living alone, munching anti-depressants and living on government handouts.

I reached the point where I was pricing up all my synths and studio gear and was preparing to sell it all and buy car and get a straight job. As a last resort I decided to give it one more go - to work as hard as I could to make a record I really loved.

I ended up making two - 'Hallucinogen In Dub' and 'Blumenkraft'.

I would much rather risk being a 'broke loser' than get to my old age and realise I pissed my life away doing pointless shit for a few pennies an hour because I was afraid of failing.

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