Will you play my birthday wake ? Tell me the damage , do you like caravans & dogs ?

Ott responded on 06/13/2018

Dogs > people.

*Caravans are the worst idea since the invention of the wheel. I was once sleeping in a *caravan where somebody accidentally dropped and broke 24 bottles of amyl nitrate. I woke up with a pounding headache, red vision and a fondness for hard-house.

I do play the occasional birthday party but strictly for under-12s. They're the best parties *ever*. 12-year-olds like to get fucked up on purple sugar drink and Skittles and dance like they're having a seizure. Some of the best gigs I ever did were kids birthday parties. They like Skrillex, Tipper, Pendulum [early, before he started singing on his tracks] and The Prodigy. They especially love confetti cannons.

So, yes, if you're under 12, you have a lot of dogs and it's not in a *caravan, count me in.

*For anyone not parochially British, a 'caravan' is one of those ungainly white boxes you tow behind a car on your way to a miserable holiday you'll swear never to repeat.

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